The Challenges of Making Friends as a Child with a Disability
The Challenges of Making Friends as a Child with a Disability
Making friends as a child is supposed to be a natural and joyful part of growing up—chasing each other on the playground, giggling over silly jokes, and forming bonds that help shape who we are. But for children with disabilities, this process can be anything but easy.
I know this firsthand. Growing up with a disability, I struggled to connect with my peers. I wanted so badly to be included, to be invited to play, to feel like I truly belonged. But instead, I often found myself on the sidelines—watching rather than participating, hoping rather than engaging. The barriers weren’t just physical but social, emotional, and deeply ingrained in the way kids and even adults perceive disability.
Children with disabilities face unique challenges in making friends, no matter what their disability may be. Below are some of the most common challenges they encounter, along with practical solutions to help foster true inclusion and meaningful friendships.
Challenges in Making Friends as a Child with a Disability
Physical Barriers (Mobility Disabilities)
Children who use wheelchairs, walkers, or have limited mobility may struggle to access playgrounds, birthday parties, or after-school activities where friendships are often formed.
Other kids may not understand how to involve them in play or assume they can’t participate.
Communication Barriers (Speech and Language Disorders, Autism, Deafness)
Some children have difficulty with verbal communication, making it hard for them to engage in conversations or express themselves in a way that others easily understand.
This can lead to frustration, misinterpretation, or even social exclusion by their peers.
Social Perception and Stigma (Autism, ADHD, Intellectual Disabilities)
Kids with disabilities may act, think, or communicate differently, and their peers may not understand these differences.
Misunderstandings and stereotypes can lead to exclusion, bullying, or simply being ignored.
Sensory Sensitivities (Autism, Sensory Processing Disorder)
Loud noises, bright lights, or chaotic social settings can be overwhelming, making traditional playdates or group activities stressful rather than fun.
As a result, some children may avoid social settings altogether, leading to isolation.
Dependence on Adults (Medical Conditions, Visual or Hearing Impairments, Cognitive Disabilities)
Some children require assistance from an adult (a parent, aide, or interpreter), which can make organic peer-to-peer interactions more challenging.
Other children may not know how to interact with a peer who seems to rely more on adults than on their friends.
Solutions to Help Children with Disabilities Make Friends
Create Inclusive Play Spaces
Schools and communities must ensure playgrounds and recreational areas are accessible to all children.
Structured, inclusive games where every child plays a role (e.g., buddy systems or cooperative games) can help bridge physical barriers.
Teach Communication Awareness
Encourage kids to use multiple ways to communicate, including gestures, pictures, or assistive devices.
Schools can implement peer mentoring programs where students are taught how to engage with nonverbal or speech-impaired classmates.
Normalize Differences Through Education
Teach children that differences in communication, behavior, or mobility are just that—differences, not barriers to friendship.
Schools should integrate disability awareness into their social-emotional learning programs to promote empathy and understanding.
Encourage Small-Group or One-on-One Friendships
Instead of overwhelming social settings, focus on helping children build relationships in smaller, more controlled environments, such as structured playdates or social skills groups.
Find activities that match a child's interests, whether that’s art, gaming, or storytelling, to help them connect with like-minded peers.
Empower the Child with Self-Advocacy Skills
To the highest degree possible and based on ability, encourage children with disabilities to express what they need in social situations and to actively seek friendships rather than waiting for others to approach them.
Role-play common social scenarios to help them feel more comfortable engaging with their peers.
A Call to Action
Making friends shouldn’t be a privilege—it should be a right. If you’re a parent, teacher, or community leader, take an active role in fostering inclusive environments. Talk to your child about including others, advocate for accessible spaces, and encourage empathy and understanding.
If you’re someone who grew up, like me, struggling to find connection, know this: you are not alone, and your experiences matter. The world is slowly changing, but we all have a role to play in making sure no child with a disability has to face the loneliness that so many of us endured.
True friendship isn’t about being the same—it’s about seeing and valuing each other for who we are. Let’s make sure every child, regardless of ability, gets that chance.
