How to Handle Awkward Questions from Kids About Disability

How to Handle Awkward Questions from Kids About Disability

When a child blurts out a question about someone’s wheelchair, prosthetic limb, speech pattern, or the way they walk, the air often changes. Parents hush their kids, teachers glance around nervously, and strangers freeze—unsure what to say or do.

But here’s the truth: awkward questions are rarely about cruelty. Most of the time, they come from a place of genuine, innocent curiosity. Kids are explorers by nature. They want to understand the world, including the differences they see in others.

Sometimes, the question comes from another child with a disability—one who is trying to process their own experience through observation. And sometimes, the only thing making the moment awkward is how the adults respond.

I speak from personal experience. Countless times, I have had kids come up to me genuinely curious about why I am in a wheelchair or why my legs don't work. And countless times, if a parent is nearby, I have watched them react with embarrassment. And every time, I smiled at the child and gave them a quick answer, while reasurring the parent that it's okay to ask. I prefer it. I embrace it.

Let’s dig into how we can shift these moments from discomfort to connection—for parents, teachers, kids with disabilities, their peers, and adults alike.

Why the Way We Respond Matters

Disability isn’t taboo. But when we react to questions with discomfort, shushing, or silence, we unintentionally send the message that disability is something to be ashamed of or hidden. Instead, every awkward question is a chance to build empathy, awareness, and inclusivity.

Responding with openness and calm helps normalize disability as a natural part of human diversity—not something strange or scary.

Everyday Challenges Faced by Kids in the Disability Community Related to Questions

Here are some of the most common challenges children with disabilities face when questions come up:

1. Being Talked About, Not To

Example: “Why can’t she walk?” asked to a parent while the child using a wheelchair is right there.

Why it’s a problem: It makes the child feel invisible or othered.

2. Invasive or Personal Questions

Example: “What’s wrong with your legs?” or “Why do you talk like that?”

Why it’s a problem: These questions can be hurtful or feel like an invasion of privacy, especially when asked loudly or in public spaces. That being said, sometimes children will not recognize the subtlety or nuance of that. These are teachable moments.

3. Assumptions About Abilities

Example: “Can she hear me?” said about a Deaf child who communicates using sign language.

Why it’s a problem: Assumptions reinforce stereotypes and create social barriers that can isolate kids.

4. Being Laughed At or Mocked

Example: A child with a limb difference being mimicked by another child.

Why it’s a problem: Even if intended as a joke, this is deeply hurtful and reinforces stigma. I was mimicked in my classroom at a young age when another kid started crawling around like I had to before I got my first wheelchair. My teacher just let it happen.

5. Adults Overreacting or “Shushing” the Question

Example: A parent whispers “Don’t say that!” and quickly pulls their child away.

Why it’s a problem: This reaction teaches kids that disability is something to avoid or be embarrassed about, rather than understand.

Solutions That Shift the Conversation

Here’s how to help kids (and adults) navigate these moments with empathy and respect:

1. Model Respectful Curiosity

Try saying: “That’s a great question. Let’s ask if they’d like to share.”

Why it works: It teaches kids to engage with others as equals and encourages consent and respectful conversation.

2. Include the Person in the Conversation

Try saying: “You can ask them directly, just remember to be kind and respectful.”

Why it works: It affirms the agency and voice of the child with the disability and normalizes direct communication.

3. Explain Differences Simply and Factually

Try saying: “Some people use wheelchairs to help them move around. It’s just another way of getting from place to place.”

Why it works: Clear, neutral explanations help kids understand without judgment.

4. Use the Moment to Build Empathy

Try asking back: “How would you feel if people asked about something that makes you different?”

Why it works: Encourages kids to think empathetically and consider how their words affect others.

5. Prepare Your Child (If They Have a Disability)

Try role-playing scenarios together: “What would you like to say when someone asks about your prosthetic?”

Why it works: Builds confidence and self-advocacy skills, so they’re ready when curiosity comes their way.

Real-World Examples of Awkward Questions Handled Right

Teacher-Initiated Empathy Circles in Classrooms

At an elementary school, a teacher invited a student who uses a communication device to give a short presentation about how it works. She followed it with a Q&A where students were encouraged to ask questions respectfully. The result? Curiosity turned into admiration, and the student became a tech expert among peers.

A Parent on the Playground

A parent responded to their child’s loud question—“Why does that man have a white stick?”—by smiling and saying, “That’s a great question! That’s a cane that helps people who can’t see very well get around safely.” Then they introduced themselves to the man, who gladly explained how it worked.

Kids Advocating for Themselves

A girl with cerebral palsy told a curious classmate, “My legs move differently, so I use this walker to help me. It makes me feel fast!” Her teacher supported the moment, adding, “Everyone has their own way of moving.”

Final Thoughts

Awkward questions don’t have to lead to awkward moments. When we respond with patience, openness, and respect, we model the kind of world we want to build—one where differences are noticed, valued, and understood.

Call to Action: Let’s Normalize Disability Conversations

• Parents: Talk with your kids early and often about disability as part of human diversity.

• Teachers: Build inclusive classrooms by inviting honest conversations and spotlighting diverse stories. If possible, encourage your students with disabilities and/or bring in speakers from the disability community who are willing and able to speak on their own lived experience.

• Kids: Ask with kindness. Speak with respect.

• Adults with disabilities: Share only what you’re comfortable sharing—and know that your presence makes a difference.

• Everyone: Don’t shush curiosity. Shape it.

Every awkward question is an opportunity. Let’s take it.